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Shawn Porter
I Believe in the Microwave

I believe the microwave is an underappreciated tool in modern day society, and I couldn’t survive without mine. Could mankind live without it? We can live without a breath mint, but remember how pleasant your last conversation with someone who really needed one was?  It’s said that dog is man’s best friend. Not to take anything away from my beloved pooch, but he has never melted my cheese to be enjoyed with some chips or saved me from another cold bowl of cereal.

I survived the first month of living thanks to the microwave. The first meal I had was none other than an iconic TV dinner. My traditional cooking skills were nonexistent. There was no mother to fix food for me, and I didn’t have the cash for a pizza delivery every day. Hot grilled chicken, mashed potatoes and carrots were a far better sounding choice than an unfulfilling cold bologna sandwich. In fact, my first grocery store trip alone included several microwavable dinners and pop. Every store I’ve been in that sells food has aisles of frozen dinners, seemingly begging to be taken home to pay homage to the nourishment-enhancing “nuke” box. There’s almost no food now that you can’t pull out of a box, poke a few holes in the plastic and enjoy in minutes. The instructions always start with microwave and then the oven, as if, especially for me, it’s just an option.

Kids with parents who can’t cook are especially thankful that a meal can be prepared with a few presses of a button. My father is the only person I know with cooking skills possibly worse than mine – the man can barely boil water. If not for the microwave making me those delicious fish stick meals, dinner time would have been a sad thing indeed. They even came with desert! One day when my kids are old enough to know the difference, I’m sure they will say a little thank you to the microwave after they attempt to eat one of my cooking disasters. Whether you’re too busy to fix a traditional meal, you’re in a hurry or want something warm at three in the morning while cramming for a psychology midterm, turn to the microwave. Almost like parent of the year, it always warms our food, never asks for anything in return and doesn’t care what time it is. So when you’re hungry remember, you can always “nuke it.”
Shawn Porter, 29, is a nontraditional BSCTC student. He writes, “When others say you’re too old, not smart enough or waited too long to achieve your dreams, push harder.”

 

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